Confessions of a Comic Book Guy is a weekly column by Steve Bennett of Super-Fly Comics and Games in Yellow Springs, Ohio.  This week, Bennett looks at the rest of the summer movies.

So, as previously established I'm giving Man of Steel* a pass and all signs indicate that goes ditto for The Lone Ranger.  The reviews are in and it appears to be everything I was afraid it would from the moment I first saw Johnny Depp wearing a dead bird on his head.  The one on the Salon website by Jake Coyle calls it a "flamboyant re-imagination of the hokey long-running radio show and 50s cowboy TV series."  While I'm prepared to give "hokey" a pass, when you call him a "cowboy" you're pretty much admitting you have zero idea who and what The Lone Ranger is.
 
When it comes to superhero movies this pretty much leaves me with The Wolverine, a.k.a. Wolverine 2: The Do-Over.  I'm sorry but I'm really not sure if at this stage of his career Wolverine has enough gravitas to carry off a definitive article.  I haven't seen an X-Men movie in years and  so far nothing I've seen about The Wolverine  makes me want to change that.  Plus there's that whole "our hero really, really wants to die" plot which doesn’t scream "summer movie fun."
 
Then of course there's Pacific Rim because... I don't believe I am in any way overstating it when I say that given that I (a) love monsters and (b) love giant robots this is the movie I wanted to see my entire life.  Which unfortunately isn't good for its chances at the box office since "I really want to see a movie" usually equals "Movie dies a quick death" (see Speed Racer, John Carter of Mars and Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World).  If you believe a piece from Variety, "Is 'Pacific Rim' Doomed to Be This Year's 'Battleship'?" by Andrew Stewart, it's essentially dead on arrival.  One of its stars, Idris Elba, was on Late Night With David Letterman the other week and Dave being Dave, naturally had a clip featuring the actors most embarrassing screen credit, Space Pizza Delivery Boy on Gerry Anderson's Space Precinct.  Idris said Gerry Anderson invented The Muppets.  I'd like to think he was kidding but I kind of doubt it.
 
And after that there's, well, R.I.P.D.; I had completely forgotten this one was even coming out this summer until the ads for it began carpet bombing basic cable.  Strangely enough I find that I kind of want to see it, even though I didn't care for the Dark Horse comic it's based on one bit  (see "Review: 'R.I.P.D.' Volume 1 TP").  But while it looks exactly like the predictable and obvious cross between Ghostbusters and Men In Black imagined it was, those ads at least hold the possibility it could be kind of fun.  Something which seems to be in seriously short supply this summer.
 
Though I must confess the movie I really want to see this summer is... Despicable Me 2.  There’s part of me that knows I really shouldn't be this eager to see the sequel to a kids cartoon; the relentless ads (with the "this looks like a job for me" hook from Eminem’s "Without Me") are enough to put me off it.  Then there are Gru's little yellow Minions,--I know they're super popular but a little of them really does go a very long way (which undoubtedly means they'll have their own Nickelodeon series by next time this year).
 
In one of those strange Hollywood coincidences the original came out in 2010, the same year as the similarly themed Megamind, though of course I didn't see either of them until years later.  But when I finally did I found Megamind had a couple of good lines, not to mention a firm handle on the superhero tropes it nimbly deconstructed, while Despicable Me had genuine heart.  Of course I would say that, seeing as how it's not hard for me to relate with its protagonist Gru, a bald, aging, fat (because as he says in a clip from  Despicable Me 2 he "eats instead of facing his problems") with terrible posture who finds the courage to allow himself to be loved.  And in the sequel he actually gets the girl.  How often does that happen in the movies (other than in the Shrek series)?
 
* In last week's column I referred to Henry Cavill as the "Badass Superman" but upon reflection I see that’s not quite right.  "Badass" has become so overused the term has become essentially worthless.  I've decided it would be far more accurate to refer to him as "Sourpuss Superman" a.k.a. "Superman with the puss on his face" (which admittedly sounds better when you can hear it in the voice of comedian Kevin Meany.  Check him out on YouTube and see for yourself).

The opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the writer, and do not necessarily reflect the views of the editorial staff of ICv2.com.