'I Think I Can Manage' is a weekly column by retailer Steven Bates, who runs Bookery Fantasy, a million dollar retail operation in Fairborn, Ohio.  Befitting the occasion, this week Bates offers his top ten resolutions for 2005. 

As we say good-bye to 2004, the time has come for that annual tradition of good intentions, self-deception, and bald-faced lies.  I'm talking, of course, about 'New Years Resolutions,' that list we write under the influence of champagne and cheese ball, in the presence of family, friends, and God (who all make more money, smoke less, and have slimmer thighs than us).  We mean well, of course, and fully intend to follow-through with our self-improvement promises.  At least, we do until 12:01 January 1st.

Below is my list of suggested New Years Resolutions for the pop culture industry.  Like our own pitiful personal resolutions, I don't really expect anyone to take these seriously.  But wouldn't we all be better off if we did?

1. Joe Quesada resolves to not draw any more alternate covers until Daredevil: Father is completed (unless, of course, they're for Kevin Smith's Spider-Man/Black Cat series).

2. Avi Arad agrees to destroy all copies of the Man-Thing movie before anyone sees it.

3. DC Comics determines it will only reprint comics that are really sold out, and to make variant covers actually variants, not re-colored (or de-colored) copies of the originals.

4. J. Michael Straczynski solemnly swears to never again write a sex scene between Norman Osborn and anybody, especially Gwen Stacy.

5. Smallville's producers promise-again-'no flights, no tights' (though the flying scenes were kinda cool).

6. Todd McFarlane reluctantly resolves to stop naming characters in his comics after real people, and to finally check eBay for 'completed auctions' on signed baseballs.

7. Stan Lee loquaciously lists the perfunctory promise and ignominious intention to retire gracefully and escape expeditiously from epic embarrassments like StanLee.com, Stripperella, and Who Wants to Be a Super-Hero.

8. Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff decide to kiss and make up (is it getting hot in here?).

9. Brian Michael Bendis apologetically resolves to work harder in 2005.

10. ICv2 promises to never print another column like this one again.